I really am getting tired of winter. Each year I get the blues, eventhough I take measures to make it better, they don't ever work as well as the smell and sound of a Spring morning. I take SAM-e, vitamin B complex, fish oil, try to get out for walks, drink plenty of water...and still I feel like sitting in a corner with my blanky and crying. It takes so much energy to even begin to think of getting up and doing something.
It's not like there is nothing to do around my house, there are thousands of things to be done. It's overwhelming! David is working on the basement, and instead of throwing things out that we don't want, need, or are even useable, he just sets them aside. When I start to throw things, he fishes them out of the garbage and puts them back. If I could get away with renting a dumpster and doing a good cleaning without him finding out, I would...in a heartbeat.
It's gross around here. The porch, which I envision being a room to have a cup of coffee and listen to the birds sing, while watching the sun come up, or taking a rest and a little lunch after working in the garden, or having dinner with my family and sitting around to talk...he thinks of this same room as his catch all for junk. All of the stuff that he doesn't want to put back in its rightful place just sits in the porch, until I get so angry that I scream and yell and throw a fit and end up doing it myself and getting him mad at me.
I try really hard to make storage simple. I get boxes and totes and baskets for things, so these things won't just be sitting around. He has more tools than you can shake a stick at, all because he can not put anything away where it belongs.
I had better stop this rant, because he reads this every now and then and will probably feel kind of bad if I go any further.
Even this ranting doesn't make me feel any better. I just want to cry, or scream, or dig my nails into my legs until I actually feel something besides what I'm feeling now.