Friday, March 9, 2012

03.08.12...

March 8-Dreams

I have a few dreams for my life and unfortunately, I think that's all they will ever be...dreams.
I'm not much of a go getter. I can't sell myself and I have no confidence.
I will think I'm good at something, such as singing, gardening, photography, drawing, and then I see someone else do the same thing way better, their voice will be clear, their garden weed free, their photos stunning and their drawing, lifelike. Usually that makes me give up, but lately I've been thinking about my insecurities a bit differently. Lately, if someone is better than me, I'm choosing to believe that they are just different from me, not better. This is quite hard for me to do. Little by little, the older I get, the less bothered I am by others' perfection. I know I am not perfect, and never will be, but I believe I can be better, and if I can be better, maybe I can get some confidence, and if I get some confidence, maybe I can sell myself. If I can sell myself, I can realize one of my dreams. That dream would be to commission my drawings, both the pencil portraits and the name drawings. I have sold a fair amount, but I would like it to be regular. Maybe that's what I can do when I retire from the hospital (which will be sooner than I can believe).
This is a sample of my dream.
You can see other samples here.


1 comment:

Carolynn said...

That's an awesome drawing! And, an absolutely attainable dream. That said, I have to admit that I deal with the exact same issues. I have things I'd like to pursue, but I get thrown off the rails by the slightest breeze. It's demoralizing and depressing. I do have a spark of an idea for something I want to pursue though and I'm determined to see it through to completion - even though I'm very stuck on an integral detail right now....